The Grand Ballast by J.A. Rock

Author:J.A. Rock
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: suspense, dark, dystopian, circus, performance arts

A TRUE WONDER

Then.

“I have an idea.” Kilroy reached for a package of cookies on the kitchen table. It was evening, and they were finishing a late dinner. Kilroy’s notebook was underneath his elbow.

Bode smiled in spite of himself. He’d been working, over the past few weeks, on putting aside his jealousy, his anger, and moving ahead with his imperfect life. It was hard, but he fared better each day. And Kilroy had seemed happier recently—he was home more often, and Bode hadn’t heard a word about Driscoll in nearly a week. “What’s your idea?”

Kilroy gazed at Bode from across the table, his pale eyes alive with excitement. The chandelier above the table had three burned-out bulbs, and the weakened light gave his skin a gentle gold hue. “I’m working with a friend of mine who has invested a great deal in pharmaceuticals. We are perfecting a drug that is a true wonder. Well, she’s creating it. I’m only telling her what I’d like it to do.” He took a bite of a cookie and chewed.

“A drug?”

“Mmm. Yesh.” He swallowed. “So many drugs, they—you become unreliable. Crashing through life, looking for trouble. Then there are others, others that sink you. Make you a rock at the bottom of a pond.”

“Do you want me to ask what that means?”

Kilroy flashed him a grin full of cookie crumbs. “I’ve made friends at my entrepreneurial meetings. We have discussed various business plans. I feel closer and closer to discovering what I want to do. What mark I’d like to leave on the world.”

“You want to dope people up?”

“I want to combine drugs and art. I’m fascinated by chemicals. By the mind. I’m sure there’s a way to rid people of boredom. I’m fuck-standing sure of it.” Kilroy was earnest. “If we can create pharmaceuticals that unlock parts of the mind—”

Bode shook his head. “You sound crazy.”

Kilroy’s eyes narrowed for a second, and Bode was pleased by the insecurity there—Kilroy wasn’t sure whether Bode was teasing. Bode wasn’t sure either. “I’m looking for another person to help with trials. A test subject. I already have one.”

“I hope you’re kidding.”

Kilroy rose and came around to kneel in front of Bode, smoothing his palms up Bode’s thighs and leaning between Bode’s legs. He stretched his arms straight out and gripped the sides of Bode’s chair. Stared up, smiling. “I’ve tried the drug too. It’s quite lovely. You sink into a sort of haze, but you are still able to do anything you wish. Or anything anyone else wishes.” He flicked his tongue suggestively.

Bode couldn’t explain why he hated the idea so much. The key to waking people up again wasn’t drugs. He couldn’t stand the thought of everyone in the world taking some fucking pill in order to be interested in what went on around them.

Bode pushed him away halfheartedly. “Go on. You’re insane.” He enjoyed the power he felt, seeing Kilroy’s expression darken and his confusion grow.

Kilroy leaped to his feet. “Come onnnn, Bode!” He pulled Bode up.

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